My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
