you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You're like the curious george of whores
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
