What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
