Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
