I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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