Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They have beer where we have blood.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
