I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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