well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
