Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
