I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
