just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize