One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
