when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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