wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
