oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
