life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
