maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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