he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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