He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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