you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
