My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
