it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
