Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
