We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
