just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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