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I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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