i can juggle bunnies
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!