They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?