i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day