I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.