Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
