Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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