??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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