just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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