STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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