I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
time to smoke my breakfast
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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