If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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