So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
