i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
