So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize