she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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