Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
