Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize