i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
