i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
