his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
