this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She's the barista slut.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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