so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
