I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize