i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The adults are the big ones right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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