I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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