new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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