Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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