i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
