dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
