I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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