Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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