doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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