remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize