I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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