what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
