Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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