Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
