Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize