I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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