Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
